


All Expenses Paid

by Sapphire_Princess



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), Skyfall - Fandom
Genre: 00Q - Freeform, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Book is nothing like the film, M/M, Mentions of homophobia, Moonraker - Freeform, No knowledge of book required, Q has a name, Q is a quartermaster in this eras Q Branch, continues on from the end of the Moonraker Book, set in the Moonraker book era of late 1950s
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-05-10 06:27:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14731671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sapphire_Princess/pseuds/Sapphire_Princess
Summary: After another brush with death on the Moonraker mission, James Bond has had enough. He gratefully accepts M's sending him away for a month but his choice of companion has left him alone with his thoughts and disappointment in a beautiful London park. A young man, one he recognises from Q Branch, comes to sit as his side and James wonders if maybe things are about to take a turn for the better.





	1. A Chance Meeting in the Park

**Author's Note:**

> This is set after the events of the Moonraker Book but you really don't need to have read it to read this (The Book is almost completely different to the film and is my fave of all the Bond books).   
> The story is set in the 1950's era Bond universe but with the Craig-verse cast!! Q isn't _the_ Q in this... but he's a member of Q Branch all the same. For those who've read anything else I've written for this fandom, R is Q's actual sister in this as I wanted a way for her to be included and this time period isn't as equality-focussed as things are now.  
>  I've done a wee bit of research for this fic but not too much so any glaring historical inaccuracies or the way Orchestras worked at this time (minor plot point) are just the way things are in this universe ^^.  
> I hope you enjoy!!

Bond stopped believing in fate about the moment he found the suicide note in Vesper’s hotel room, a mere few days after he’d allowed himself to believe in it at all.

Now, a few years later, in Hyde park in London, he’s no closer to recovering that belief.

An hour ago he’d been dreaming of France, hotels, beaches, countryside and Gala Brand. She’d let him down gently, properly, and with an ounce of regret that had helped lessen the bruise left on his ego.

He’d found a bench and settled in the park. Unwilling to contact M about the change in arrangement but also knowing he’ll have to do so sooner or later.

A new car and a month of respite still lie in his future. The threat of nuclear annihilation lies in his past and he’s crossed another mission off the unseen list standing in the way of retirement, though his incoming fortune might make that closer still.

As he sits and wonders, he sees the young man from the shooting range walk through the park with a young woman on his arm. His smile is wide and bright and she laughs at something he says. James wonders if this is the universes way of rubbing salt in his wound. The young man’s job is within Q Branch and will keep him safe and grounded long enough to provide a stable home-life for the woman on his arm.

He sighs and tries to shake himself out of this pathetic melancholy. Feeling sorry for himself won’t get him anywhere. 

The couple are on the path leading to the bench he’s sat on and he's smiling at her now, his dark curly hair catching the light and shining in golden whirls that James hadn’t expected. He squints when the sun catches his glasses but he’s still handsome, beautiful in his own way.

James sighs heavily, focussing his eyes to the ground until they have walked past him. Thoughts like that will not lead to a good place, at least not until he’s on the continent. He might be able to find a man or two with the same partial inclination that he has, to pass the night with.

Sometimes, _sometimes_ , he craves the rough touch of another man, of holding onto someone that he doesn’t simply have to pleasure and please. Someone who will be rough with him, take him out of himself for a while.

Sometime later, maybe half an hour, maybe even longer, someone sits down at his side.

“Bond?” The voice asks quietly.

James hides his shock at the familiar - if nameless - voice. He raises his head to acknowledge him, not sure what this is about.

“Is everything alright?” he asks. “It’s just that I couldn’t help but notice you were staring and I wondered if perhaps you needed something.”

James shakes his head. “No, you can return to your date. I was just surprised to see someone I recognised.”

The man chuckles lightly. “I was with my sister.”

“Your sister?” he asks, with more surprise than he expected.

“Yes. She’s a few years younger than me and quite the brilliant musician. Her rehearsal schedule has made it difficult for me to see her recently so it’s been nice to spend the day with her.”

“In that case I’m sorry to have interrupted your day, please don’t let me keep you any longer.”

The man laughs again. “I was escorting her to her next engagement, so you’re not interrupting anything. Are you sure there’s nothing I can help you with?” He sounds sincere and genuine. A man James has seen fine-tune the most deadliest of weapons that aid him and the other agents in the field… it seems odd that he could sound so earnest… but they all do. Moneypenny, his own secretary…. they do important work but they're rarely on the front line.

James tells himself that his offer is meant as one man to another, a gentleman’s offer of dinner between colleagues. He’s no doubt that thats all this young man will see it as.

“I could do with some company this evening, would you be free for dinner?”

The young man blinks rapidly. “As in…”

“Food and company,” James smiles. “It’s not code for anything. It’s been a very long week for me and you’d be welcome company. But, please, if you already have plans it’s fine.”

He earns a smile for his honesty. “I don’t have anything planned for this evening save for reading and the company of my cats and grandparents, and they’ll be fine without me.”

James tells him when and where. He resists offering to pick him up lest that give the wrong idea, and lets him know the dress code.

He is tired and sore and aching, but the thought of an evening with pleasant company brings comfort to him, even if the young man can't know it.

“Oh.” His companion was about to stand but drops back down. “I should probably tell you my name.”

James smiles. “Yes, that would be a good idea.” Q Branch are not encouraged to give out their names within work.

“Simon,” he says and James shakes his offered hand, ignoring the flicker of warmth in his chest.

***

Simon was right on time, arriving only a minute after James. The waiter lead them to James’ familiar and preferred table. He’s glad he made no mention of entertaining a date this evening. Though a discrete place, they do have their limits and he wouldn’t want to expose his current company to such a scandal. 

As it is they are treated as friends or co workers out for an evening meal. They order, they talk, they eat.

“Bond?”

“Hm?”

“Not that I mind at all, in fact it’s been lovely, but do you make a habit of inviting out random co workers for dinner after a mission?” His eyes are beautiful, filled with enquiry, but James disguises his staring with a slow smile and a light chuckle.

“Only those that stop to enquire after my wellbeing.”

“I might not know the whole story, but I know enough to piece it together. They sent what was left to us.”

James nods. “I thought as much.” 

“It’s… interesting,” Simon says, adjusting his glasses then eating the last of his chicken.

“Is your sister playing this evening?” James asks over desert, tiramisu for Simon and the lemon tart for James.

“No, she’s spending the night with her friend, I believe they’re at the theatre this evening, I’ll no doubt return home before she does.”

James nods and turns his attention back to his food. “Does she live with you?”

“Yes, we’ve lived with my grandparents since we were children.” He fiddles with his fork and takes a deep breath. “If you’re enquiring after my sister I should probably tell you-“

“I’m not, I promise,” James assures him quickly. “I was only asking out of interest. I don’t make a habit of taking family members out to dinner to pursue their siblings.”

Simon accepts this with a warm smile and sips his wine.

James wants to say something else, to find another topic of conversation so that they can stay a little longer, stretch this evening as far as it will go but he can’t stop the yawn that creeps up on him.

Simon smiles. “I won’t object to calling it a night, you look quite exhausted.”

“Something along those lines.” James shakes his head. He does want to sleep, he wants to sink into a soft mattress, preferably with Simon next to him, enjoying the comfort of a bed and the warmth of beautiful company. It’s the ease with which his thoughts flow down this path that makes him decide its time to go home. Alone. 

They leave and say goodnight, before getting into specially ordered cabs.

Just as James is about to get out, when they pull up in front of his residence, he hands a note to the driver with instructions and a tip, then closes the door behind him. 

The note if for M’s eyes only, in a code only he will understand. Now all James can do is wait and see.

***

“Good morning, I wonder if I might speak with Simon?” 

Marigold smiles at him warmly. “Of course, you know you’re welcome here, though it’s been at least a year since you last visited.” She welcomes him in and leads him to the library. “I’ll send him down to you.”

“Thank you.”

He sighs and sinks into a once-familiar chair. These are his friends, and what he’s about to ask of their grandson is not something he asks lightly. There is no danger to him if it is not what he wants but he worries about what will happen if it is.

Simon comes in roughly dressed and combing a hand through his hair to make it look more presentable. At work they barely see each other and M only came to realise Simon had been hired after he saw his name on the background check Tanner conducted just before he was hired.

“You may be seated, Simon.”

He does as he’s told, shutting the door securely behind him and choosing the seat across from M.

“I have a request to make of you, but you must understand that you can decline with absolutely no repercussions. In fact I want only an honest answer from you. No part of it will affect Queen, country or the Service. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good. Also know that you will be paid thrice your monthly salary for merely being asked, in the form of private compensation to be paid into your bank account this afternoon. Thirdly, even if you agree to it you can decline any request made of you - absolutely any - that make you uncomfortable. Similarly if something is asked of you that you neither want, or can, give during the time period in question, you can freely decline. No actions will be taken against you upon your return so long as you behave with complete and careful discretion. You have my word in all of this.”

Simon nods again and studies M’s face. There are clearly a number of questions he wishes to ask, and if this were a normal, friendly visit and their conversation of a different variety, M is sure he would. 

But this is work and, consequently, M knows that whatever answer Simon gives will be a true one.

***

Simon accepts, because of course he does. He likes James Bond well enough and he could do with the time away from work. He’s tired, worn out and in need of a quiet existence for a month or so.

M insisted that Bond is a man of his word and may not ask for anything but his friendship… and if he does Simon is free and able to turn him down.

He isn’t sure whether or not M is aware that they had dinner together the day before, but it was enough for Simon to understand something of Bond’s character.

His sister, Laura, helps him pack and keeps him company. He’s been given currency, medical supplies and a few other things he may well need.

“When is the car coming to pick you up?” Laura asks, sitting next to him on his bed.

“Half an hours time.”

“Aren’t you glad I insisted you learn french with me,” she says with a smile. He can tell she's excited for him; her music has taken her around most of Europe and America. Yet he’s never strayed past Wales. She knows he loves his work but still wishes he would travel.

“I am, yes.” He takes his things down stairs and Laura follows.

“I’ll be in Paris in just over a months time, I know you’ve memorised my schedule. I’ll have two tickets put aside, for you and your friend if you want them, but mainly for you.”

“Laura…”

She hugs him. “I know you might not be able to come, it’s just incase, okay?”

“Okay.” She smiles and stands back as their grandparents come into the hall to say good bye.

*** 

“You are aware of the consequences,” M says cooly. He’s sat in the back of the private car taking Bond to the station.

“Perfectly but you still agreed to this, he still agreed to this.”

“Because both he and I trust you to be a man of your word, and respect that of your companions.”

James nods. “I am and I will. Primarily I want companionship.”

M sighs heavily and focusses his gaze out of the window. The driver is within a sound proof booth and can’t hear them.

“Off the record I have no personal or moral objection to love between consenting adults of any gender and the Service has no official interest in the affairs of the country. However, I could never condone any report of anything more than a friendship between you. I don’t know why he agreed, James, but he’s never given any indication of his… preferences.”

James closes his eyes. “You know him.”

“I watched him and his sister grow up. His grandmother used to work in the service with me during the war but I knew the family before hand.”

“I would have gone on my own,” James says earnestly.

“I agreed because I trust you and because I trust him. Take care of him and let him do the same to you.”

“M…”

“I’ll see you when you get back.”

James gets out and collects his bags. M doesn’t say anything else and stays hidden in the back of the car.

He hadn’t had any intention of ruthlessly seducing Simon anyway, his recent experiences have exposed more of his heart than he’d intended. And the money he now has holds the hope of something else… but there’s extra incentive not to cause pain. Not to hurt someone who is cared for and loved by so many people.

***

He’s sat in the stations waiting room and looks up from his book the moment James comes in the door. They have 20 minutes until their train to Dover arrives and there won’t be any rush before it leaves.

James sits at his side, glad that there isn’t anyone else there at this time of the morning. 

“Q.”

Simon laughs. “That is certainly not my title, nor one I’m particularly sure I aspire to.”

“M has informed me that he’s given you everything we might need for our trip and it seems to me that you’re my own personal quartermaster.”

He rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “Really now, Bond.”

“James,” he says smiling. “Please call me James.”

“I suppose that whatever I request you’re still going to insist on calling me Q?”

He nods. “You’re a quartermaster, aren’t you.”

“Without the capital letter, yes.”

“Well then, for this holiday you're the only one with those qualifications here.”

Simon shakes his head, having clearly given in. “Q it is, at least until we get back and things return to normal.”

James smiles with forced sincerity, wincing internally at the stab that shot through his heart. He doesn’t want things to return to normal. Maybe that will change in a month, maybe it won’t… maybe he’ll return long enough to pack up his things…. or maybe he’ll send his Q back to London alone.

M will understand, even if it pains him, and he won’t begrudge him his freedom.

***

“How are you with boats?” James asks as they wait at the ferry port.

“Absolutely fine.” He shrugs and turns his attention back to his sandwich. He’s beginning to get a tad confused as to why James has requested him. He’s been nothing but polite conversation or a less than comfortable silence. A marked difference from the night before. Maybe its because they weren’t alone on their journey… maybe he has a lot on his mind.

“I’m tired,” James says quietly. “And therefore probably terrible company for today.”

“I was wondering about that.”

He smiles apologetically. “I could tell.”

Simon shakes his head. “It’s fine, now I know why. I did wonder if perhaps M had said something to you along the same lines as he did to me.”

James winces. “Ah, well, I hope it wasn’t too awful.”

“No, not really. I’ve heard worse from him.”

He smiles. “I can imagine.” 

Simon puts the paper from his finished sandwich in the bin and stands. James follows, wincing slightly as he does.

“I have all the necessary bandages and ointments.”

“Yes, thank you, Q. M made me aware.”

Simon rolls his eyes but doesn’t protest. He doesn't really see that he’ll ever make that position but it’s nice to be called it by a Double O. And he’s decided that he'll try to think of himself as Q from now on, at least for the length of their holiday.

***

The man is waiting with James’ new car and smiles when he sees them approach, giving a formal wave as they get nearer.

He helps them load the suitcases into the boot of the car, though Q keeps his duffle bag with him in the front seat. 

“Enjoy her, sir,” he says as he hands over the key. He gives Q a polite nod and James can tell he assumes he’s his assistant.

“Thank you.” James smiles tips him and gets into the car. She starts like a dream.

“She is rather beautiful, I expect you’ll want to get her customised at some point,” Q remarks.

“Are you offering your services?” James jokes.

“I have the expertise but none of the equipment I would need,” Q says, looking out of the window and at the ocean they’ve just crossed. 

Night is drawing in fast and though there is still enough light, James wants to get to the hotel before darkness falls completely.

“I don’t intend to make you work on your holiday, Q.”

He turns to James and smiles. “Maybe when we get back.”

“Maybe.” He doesn’t so much as flinch, just carries on driving and lets silence fall once more.

***

James stands back and lets Q do the talking, fluent in french as he is.

“We have a twin room with a large bathroom, ready?” James follows him to the lift and concentrates on their surroundings until they’re locked safely inside their room and he’s checked he's happy with it all.

Q heads to the bathroom, puts what James will need on the shelf, runs the bath and checks the water.

“Call me if you need anything,” he says, holding the door open behind James. His eyes meet his in the mirror.

“You’re not here to be my nurse,” James says kindly and Q smiles.

“I know, but I’m happy to help. I’d rather you not suffer needlessly.”

James nods, sighs and gives in.

“If you would help me remove my shirt and the bandages, I’d appreciate it.”

Q steps inside and does so, making little ceremony of removing his shirt, folding it and leaving it on the side. He’s more careful with the bandages and applies ointment to the worst of them, adding the soothing bath lotion to the water and stirring it around.

James pretends not to be bothered by his gentle fingers deftly removing the cloth, but he feels every brush like sparks along his nerves. He has a look of quiet determination on his face and James has to stop himself from reaching out on more than one occasion.

Q turns away when James gets into the bath.

“You don’t have to close the door,” James tells him. 

Q pauses. He looks like he wants to ask what happened but he doesn’t. Maybe because he doesn’t think he’s allowed to know.

“I could bring my book and read in here,” he offers.

James smiles, nods, and a minute later Q returns with his book and a cushion. He places it on the floor at the other end of the bath, rests back against the wall and closes his eyes, book unopened on his lap.

“Where are we going tomorrow?” he asks casually.

James yawns. “That depends on the weather, but we’ll check on that in the morning. I have a few contacts and know of a few other places we’d be welcome. No where too near to a major city. How would you feel about a small villa for a few days, maybe longer?”

Q smiles. “Somewhere close to a good bakery and perhaps a book shop and it will be perfect. Running water wouldn’t go a miss either.”

James laughs. “I’ll see what I can do.”

***

Q lays awake that night, watching over James Bond in the bed across from him. 

He’d helped to reapply his bandages after his bath and left him to sleep soon after. 

Q then showered then changed, crawling into bed with a towel across his pillow. He’d turned out the lights and put his glasses on the night stand, but he can’t seem to take his eyes away from the man in the other bed, no matter how hard he tries.

James’ face seems guarded, even in sleep. Q thinks it might be to hold off the nightmares he no doubt gets after so many missions and seeing so much death. He wonders how hard it must be to be that strong all the time, to have a guard you can hardly let down at all. 

Yet here he is doing just that, trusting Q to come with him, to tend to his wounds, to be his companion.

He was drawn when he’d seen him in the park and could hardly refuse dinner, so he wonders whats next… and if he’ll want to refuse anything at all.

***


	2. Surprisingly Honest Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things don't exactly proceed the way either of them thought they would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to those who've left kudos or comments - it really means a lot!!!

“There’s a farmhouse with excellent food, or we could head down to the Loire instead? There are plenty of little places we can stay in near the river, nothing too busy.”

Q shrugs, looking over at James. “I really don’t mind. I have enough books and things to keep me occupied, wherever you think is best… though I confess to not wanting to travel for too long in one day.”

“Farmhouse tonight and Loire tomorrow,” James agrees, Q nods at him and offers a small smile. “I was going to say something yesterday, but I forgot; You speak french.”

“Yes. So do you, as I recall. And more languages than most of the rest of your division put together,” Q replies. “I am a cryptologist more than a linguist, but I’m of better use to Q Branch, so that’s where I spend most of my time… but I’m called upon when needed.”

“Creating or solving?”

“Both.”

James smiles. “I’m not surprised.”

“Did you know?” A part of him still wonders if that’s why he's really here - if there’s some lingering part of the Moonraker mission still in progress and they’re here to finish it.

But James shakes his head. “No, I had no idea.” Then, seeming once again to read Q, James adds, “My original companion for this holiday is otherwise engaged…”

Q swallows and tries his best to look unaffected. He’s a back up then, a replacement. 

James must notice. “Q. Q, it’s not like that. Your company over dinner was unexpectedly lovely so I asked M to extend an invitation to you.” 

He sounds honest enough, but it still burns Q’s throat, makes it difficult for him to reply. He doesn’t know why he’s so put out by it.

“If you hadn’t sat beside me in the park I would have come on my own.”

Q nods, willing James to stop talking about it and just leave it be. He should, he tells himself, be happy that James has told him this at all.

“Q… Simon-”

“It’s quite alright, Bond. I understand,” he replies, keeping his voice even and polite.

James nods curtly and they drive in silence.

 

***

The farmhouse is lovely. Their room is in an annex - with an en suite - and the owners recognise James, greeting him with smiles and kisses. 

Q is happy when he realises that James has always visited alone before. Somehow, somehow he feels a little better. Though, why he thought he was so special, and why what was said in the car affected him so much is beyond him… or simply beyond thinking about.

The food is glorious and Q allows himself to relax and eat, enjoying the surroundings and the conversations with the owners. He and James remain polite and courteous with each other but the easy conversation they’ve enjoyed so far seems stunted.

The owners retreat to their own rooms and so James and Q return to theirs. James makes himself a drink but Q declines and steps outside onto the small balcony of their room. The view is nothing special but it’s the peace of the evening he was looking for.

“Can I join you?” James asks from the doorway, standing just outside as if he would happily turn around and head back into the room.

Q nods, wanting their time away to be pleasant and not awkward.

“I’m sorry. I think I should have invited you myself, but I thought it would be best if M did so instead. That way there was less pressure for you to agree.”

“It’s okay. I feel foolish for behaving the way I did. I suppose I’m just a tad out of sorts. This did come out of the blue and it is the first time I’ve been to France, so, it’s fine, James.”

Bond smiles, finally stepping out and resting on the balcony wall next to Q.

“It’s beautiful,” Q says after a while.

James nods. “Yes, it can be. I’ll admit that the main reason I come here is for the food, but the location is nice too.”

“Do you need me to help you with another bath this evening?” Q asks when the silence continues on.

James shrugs. “It’s healing well enough but it might be a good idea, the sooner it heels the sooner I won’t feel like I’m being held together with bandages and tape.”

Q chuckles. “I expect the cuts will heal before the bruising, though as I said my medical knowledge is that of a first aider.”

“Luckily for the both of us, that seems to be all I need.” James smiles. “Don’t worry, I could do it myself… though the help is much appreciated.”

“I’d rather not watch you suffer,” Q reassures him, heading inside to run the bath.

 

***

Q was faster and more efficient with the bandages that evening, both in removing them and putting a fresh set over James’ back and sides. He is well on the way to making a full recovery and will likely be out of the bandages within the next few days. 

James waits for Q to finish in the bathroom, and is greeted by a look of surprise.

“I didn’t expect you to be awake, you didn’t have to wait for me.”

James nods. “I know, but I’m not particularly tired." He looks Q over, his head tipping right and then left. "Is your back hurting?"

Q shakes his head. "It's a little stiff from the travelling but it eased up in the shower." He shrugs and picks up another towel, drying his hair with it then brushing it out. Then he slips his glasses on and looks back at James. 

"I can help with that," James offers sincerely.

Hazel eyes search his face from across the room.

"A massage?"

James shrugs. "If you like."

Something unreadable crosses Q's face but he nods and puts the towels back in the bathroom, walking across the room and standing before James.

"Take off your shirt, turn around and sit down. This will probably work better with you sitting. "He pauses. "Best grab that chair to rest your arms on," he adds.

Q does as suggested, removing his glasses and shirt, then making sure the chair is the correct distance from the bed. He doesn’t say anything and keeps his eyes focused on what he’s doing.

There isn't any oil and James suspects that Q isn't too fond of mess, so instead he lightly coats his hands in moisturiser. It'll help his hands do their job but will soak into the skin well enough. 

Q's holding onto the edge of the mattress tightly, his knuckles are turning white and the strain in his back is more pronounced. He’s not putting his full weight on the bed either, as if he can’t quite commit to being there.

James sighs quietly. "Q, you can go to bed if you'd rather not." Q's uneasiness is nothing like the women who he beds; they wouldn't so much as set foot in a room with him unless they wanted him... but this... This isn't a game, not between them. Plus, bedding Q isn’t why he’s doing this.

"I do. Want it, I mean," Q says stiffly.

"Tell me to stop and I will, I promise," James tells him firmly. 

Q nods and finally lets the bed take his weight. But James waits a little longer to make sure.

He moves forwards on the mattress, being careful not to enclose Q with his legs. Instead he sits with them to one side, folded at the knees. It won't be comfortable for long but this is a massage rather than anything else. He's certainly not going to push for anything more.

"Also tell me if I'm missing somewhere. It might hurt but I promise you'll feel better for it in the morning."

"Okay."

James takes a deep breath and carefully, gently to start, presses his hands to Simon's shoulders. Rubbing and soothing, massaging deep into the muscles. He can't deny how good it feels to be able to touch him, but he pushes any and all thoughts besides his actions out of his mind and treats it like a clinical, restorative massage.

"Oh," Q says, sounding quite surprised and James hides his grin, then goes to work in earnest. He starts from the top, feeling Q relax and sigh with relief. His arms rest on the back of the chair and he rests his head on them, bending over enough for James to get at his lower back.

Once he's finished he wipes his hands clean of the remaining lavender moisturiser and listens to Q's quiet sounds of contentment.

"All done," James says, leaning back and stretching his legs out to the side. He’s making sure to keep his hands away from Q, pushing away his want to touch him again, to feel his skin beneath his fingers.

So it takes him a while to notice that Q hasn’t moved.

But James doesn't feel like it's his place to suggest anything. He doesn’t want to unfairly tip the balance of power between them; he’s tired of false charm and alluring platitudes, of games and disposable pleasure. He wants this man to want him for who he is, not what he can be.

"James," Q says quietly.

"Yes?" His voice a little rougher.

Q swallows. "I wouldn't be adverse to this continuing," he says carefully, lightly.

"Q..."

He turns slowly and meets James' eyes over his shoulder. He's wary, worried that he's read the entire situation wrong and James remembers the look on his face when he realised he wasn't James' first choice - that he sees himself as a replacement for someone else.

He moves forwards and Q's eyes lose some of their fear.

_‘Well,’_ he thinks. _‘If he isn’t opposed….’_

Tentatively, carefully, James moves his legs so that they're either side of Q's. He reaches out with his hands again, rubbing his shoulders then down along his back. He places them on his hips and then slowly around Q's waist.

"Is this alright?" He's leaning further forwards, mouth inches from Q's ear. He hears him swallow as he nods.

"Yes."

James wraps his arms firmly around his waist and pulls him back against his chest. He can feel the heat of Q’s body through the bandages and hopes he heals sooner so that they can do this skin to skin.

Q's arms drop from the chair and come to rest on James' arms. He's holding on and pushing them closer against his waist, asking for more without being able to say the words. When his head falls back and rests on James' shoulder it's James that gasps in surprise.

Q smiles and turns his head to nuzzle at his neck. "Will you kiss me?" he asks.

James smiles and turns his head. "Of course."

Q lifts his head and twists round just enough for their mouths to meet. It's chased at first but when Q's lips push hard at James' he opens up to him, one hand coming to rest of the back of Q's head to hold him closer.

Q moans into his mouth and James feels as though he's been lit up on the inside. He wants to hear more, wants to take him to the edge and then over it again and again and again.

Their foreheads rest together and they pant to catch their breath. Q places kisses against James' cheek, his nose, his jaw and in return James slides his other hand up Q's chest, to make him gasp and kiss him harder.

When he moves it lower and opens Q's towel, he finds his erection standing tall and proud, straining in the cold air that now surrounds it.

Q's head tips forwards and James takes the opportunity to reposition him; one hand holding him around the waist and the other lightly fisting his erection. His head lulls back against James' shoulder so he turns his head and mouths at his neck, sucking at the skin and revelling at the moan that escapes Q's throat.

"James..." he utters, hips stuttering upwards as James tightens his fist and strokes him. He pants against his neck, laving at the skin and sucking once he’s caught his breath.

Q’s heart is pounding so hard James can see it, his hips are shaking and his hands are gripped onto the thighs at his side. Any noises he makes are honest, he isn’t doing any of this for show, and it sends another flash of arousal down to James’ cock.

Every time Q’s hips stutter they rub against James’ clothed erection and it’s proving to be more than enough, anymore and he’s likely to come before his parter and that’s not how he wants this to go. His senses are more alive and alert than that have been for a while, alight with the feel of Q against his chest, in his arms, in his hand.

“I’m close,” Q gasps.

James hums against his throat and strokes harder.

Q comes hard, shaking with it. His chest heaves and his fingers grip even tighter on James’ legs. James slows his pace but keeps his hand moving until he senses Q twitch with over stimulation. He’s so hard himself, that he rocks his hips forwards, his cock pressed to Q’s lower back, and he comes with a groan a few moments later.

He can’t remember the last time he’s finished in his underwear… but doesn’t mind at all. 

When James sits up straight to reach for a towel and glass of water to clean them up, Q turns his head and nuzzles his neck. He presses kisses against the skin, joins his hand with James’ and helps wipe himself down.

For some reason this takes James by surprise and he’s grateful that Q can’t see his face. He hides his shock; resting his head on top of Q’s.

“Are you okay?” he asks, knowing he’s going to have to ask him to move in a moment.

Q laughs in quiet delight. “Yes.” He leans back and relaxes against James’ chest fully, almost bonelessly.

James kisses his cheek. “Lie down a moment, I need to finish cleaning up.”

Q’s eyes are wide when he sits forwards and looks at him.

“Oh.” He smiles. “I wasn’t sure if…” He looks rueful, but he happily slides up the bed when James moves his leg. “I can help, if you need it.”

James squeezes his hand briefly. “I’m going to sort myself out in the bathroom. We haven’t gotten anything on the bed so wait here and I’ll be back in a minute.” He reaches down and kisses Q before sliding off the bed and making quick work of his clean up in the bathroom.

He heads back in a fresh pair of underwear and finds Q waiting for him, his own pyjama bottoms back on but his shirt is beside him on the chair. He looks happy but a little pensive.

“The doors are locked,” James assures him. 

Q smiles. “I know.”

James turns out the main light and leaves only the one on the bedside table, between their beds, lit.

Hazel eyes watch him as she moves about the room and he doesn’t miss Q’s sigh of relief when James joins him on the same bed, pulling the sheets up to their waists.

The marks he’s left on Q’s throat are low on his neck but dark against his pale skin. Q notices his gaze and runs his fingers over them.

“I don’t mind,” he says with a smile. “It was worth it.”

James laughs lightly and puts his hand over Q’s. He shivers faintly so James kisses him, wrapping him in his arms.

Q doesn’t freeze but he seems wary of moving. “If you’re uncomfortable you can sleep in your own bed.” He relaxes and brings his arm around James.

“I’m not uncomfortable, James, I’m surprised.” He sighs. “I never expected that you would….” He seems uncertain on how to finish the sentence.

“Take a male lover?” James suggests.

“Yes. Much less on a holiday.”

“I chose to think of it as taking a new friend on holiday, anything else was a bonus.”

“Um, that’s one word for it,” Q says with a small smile. He rolls over in James’ arms and rests with his back pressed firmly against his chest.

James nuzzles against the back of his neck and kisses his shoulder. Q brings his hands up to James’ arms around him and runs his fingers over his skin in lazy patterns.

“Are you really okay with this?” James asks, unable to deny how worried he is and wondering if Q somehow thinks he’s only here for someone else’ pleasure.

“I’m a little confused but certainly not unhappy. I had perhaps considered that you might want male company during our dinner together in London, but you seemed unsure, tentative. I understand that, given the nature of our work, you had no idea whether or not I wanted the same.”

“Hmm, that is true.”

“It was made perfectly clear to me by M that I could decline any and all requests that you made of me…. but I wouldn’t have let you put your hands on me if I didn’t want you to.”

“You’re not here simply for my pleasure, Simon, I promise.” He shivers at the use of his name and James holds him tighter.

“I think I realised that when you not only gave me an actual massage but you backed off at the end.” His voice is soft and he sounds tentatively happy.

James stays quiet whilst he orders his thoughts. What he has to say is likely important but he’s not sure how much sense it will make to his Q.

“The women I’ve taken as lovers in the past - with a couple of exceptions who I’ve had strong feelings for - have always been aware of the game, the chase and the reward. There is always an agreement, something quiet and understated and they always make sure to stay in my way, to allow me access to them and they’ve consented before we've really begun. I don’t take other women for granted in that way and I have no idea how to read you.”

Q swallows loud enough for James to hear him. He wishes he could see his face but thinks he understands his need for privacy.

“What happened to the woman you wanted to bring with you?”

“I could only sense that she wanted me, but we did no more than kiss once… she’s married by now, to another police officer.”

“Oh.”

James shrugs. “It is what it is. You sat down next to me at just the right moment and your words were all I needed to lift my mood. I didn’t know if you were interested in men, women, both or neither but I knew dinner couldn’t hurt.”

“Both, not that it matters. I spend most of my time in work and the rest with my family or reading. I’ve never really thought myself the marrying type and I’ve always been worried about having affairs.” He tenses. “And I have very little experience with any of this.”

“I’ve never been with another man before. I’ve wanted to, dreamt about it… wondered what it would feel like… if you want this to continue we can figure it out together, we have time.”

“And a secluded cottage somewhere.”

“Yes, of course.”

Q relaxes against him. “You’re not at all what I expected a Double-O agent to be.”

“That’s because I’m too exhausted to put on that persona,” he admits.

“Yet you call me Q.”

“Do you mind?” he asks, wondering if perhaps his nick name has caused offence.

“No, not at all. I’m getting used to it.”

They fall into silence and after a time James realises Q has fallen asleep. He carefully pulls the covers over them both and lets sleep claim him, lulled and comforted by the man in his arms.

***

Q expects the morning to be awkward but it isn’t.

James is awake and sat up in bed stroking Q's hair - he's rolled over during the night.

"Good morning," he greets with a warm smile.

"Morning, James." Q smiles and yawns, leaning into James' hand.

"We should get dressed for breakfast soon and then be on our way. I've called ahead and organised somewhere for us to stay. There's a small town a walk away with everything you've requested and there's both electricity and running water."

"Sounds lovely," Q agrees. He feels happy and light, as though James could suggest anything and he'd happily agree.

When they get up Q is first to head to the bathroom and James doesn't look as he gets dressed; he remains a perfect gentleman.

They pack and have an amiable breakfast. Their intimacy is so new that Q doesn't mind the lack of contact, touches and affection that has been bestowed on him since the massage last night. He also knows that this is France and their actions are not criminal here.... though they're only really allowed in private.

James still smiles at him when no one is looking and he allows himself to return it shyly. He's utterly unused to it.

***

In the car, everything safely stowed away in the boot, James places his hand on Q's leg whenever he can. They talk or rest in comfortable silences and Q feels somewhat swept away by it all.

His companion seems earnest and considerate, and he is very clearly exhausted by his work and by his life. M told him that James had to stay out of the country to avoid suspicion for a month after his last mission, but he knows it was also to make sure his friend was properly rested. He's not sure if M knows how tired Q has been or how hard he's been working... but he appreciates this holiday anyway.

They head into the village first, Q managing to dampen his excitement in the bakery and the shops. James carries the bags and lets him take his time in the book shop. He buys a couple that look interesting but also buys a couple of notebooks just incase the ones he has with him aren't sufficient. 

"Ready?" James asks.

"Yes." He smiles.

The cottage is two storey with stone work covering the front and indoors. It feels like he expected a French villa to feel - based on Laura's descriptions. There’s a kitchen and living area down stairs, two bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs. It's near the river with a small garden and the surrounding area is peaceful. The nearest cottage is a mile or so away and judging from the location he thinks that James has chosen this place on purpose. There’s only a very small chance that they've been followed and they spoke in French the entire time they were in the village, but he appreciates James' care non-the-less.

"Do you like it?" James asks him as he puts the kettle on the stove in the kitchen.

Q smiles. "Yes, it's lovely. How long will we be staying?"

"Probably no more than a week. There are other places we should visit whilst we have the time." He says it as any passing comment but Q can still feel the weight in that sentence. It catches him off guard but he doesn't let on, instead sitting down at the kitchen table and reading his book as James makes them lunch.

"Did you bring tea with you?" James asks, turning around and leaning against the worktop.

Q looks up. "Yes, of course. I didn't want to presume I'd be able to find earl grey here so I packed my own. It's one of the few luxuries I allow myself."

James considers him carefully. "I'll never understand the national obsession with tea."

Q shrugs. "I'm not particularly fond of coffee but each to their own."

"Fair enough." James smiles ruefully. "Usually people get very defensive."

"It might be the way you've been phrasing it," he suggests.

"Hm, maybe."

He still makes Q his tea, adds milk and places it in front of him. He returns a few minutes later with beautiful baguette filled with cheese and ham.

Q kisses him on the cheek when he sits down at his side.

"You're welcome," James replies, leaning back in and kissing him soundly. His hand comes up and cups the back of Q's head, fingers gathering in his unruly curls as he brings him closer.

Q feels himself starting to melt again, and his mouth follows James' when they part. James chuckles warmly and strokes the side of his face, fixing his glasses then kissing his nose.

"Eat," he says warmly and Q nods, gathers himself and does just that.

***

James waits until he’s finished his tea, watching Q’s Adams apple bob as he swallows. Then, as soon as the mug is back on the counter, he leans over and kisses his cheek. Q shivers, and James kisses down to his neck. When he mouths at Q’s skin he feels him shiver again and clutch at the table top.

“We should relocate,” he murmurs against his neck.

“Okay.” Q swallows and nods, fingers lifting from the wood one by one.

James stands up and resists kissing him, knowing they won’t get very far if he does. Arousal is thrumming through him but he wants to touch Q, wants to feel him come apart again.

Q takes one look at the sofa in the living room and sits when James nods. He’s blinking up at James, expecting something, but he doesn’t speak. His cheeks are flushed and his eyes are bright, this is what he’d missed out on yesterday.

He kneels down and Q leans forwards to meet their mouths in a kiss. It’s warm and soft, gentle then firmer as Q licks into his mouth. James moans and lets him, cupping his face with his hands. Then he starts to let them wander down over Q’s chest, his hips and then the front of his trousers.

Q’s breath stutters and he breaks the kiss, pushing forwards against James’ hand.

“I’m not asking for anything in return, Q. But would you let me…?” he asks, with his hands on the button of his trousers.

Q nods. His cheeks are red and flushed, his eyes blink rapidly as he watches James pop the button and pull the zip down.

*

Q raises himself off the sofa to allow James to pull down his trousers and underwear, lifts his legs so that he can pull them off. His shirt is unbuttoned and his cardigan removed. He can barely hear anything over the ringing in his ears and the sound of James’s breathing. His fingers twitch with anticipation and he _wants and wants and wants._

He shakes when James takes his erection inside his mouth, moans when James’ hands hold onto his hips. Q runs his hands through James’ hair and tries to relax, he's under no illusion that this will be over shortly but, he wants this to last as long as it can.

James sucks and Q feels like he’s losing his mind.

“J-James…” he pants, trying to warn him. James hums and keeps going.

“Shit, shit, shit.” Q comes and feels James swallow messily around him. There are lights in his eyes and he feels so very overwhelmed he’s not aware of anything beside how this feels.

He spaces out for long enough for James to head to the kitchen and come back with a damp towel.

“Do you… do you..” He tries to catch his breath, move his hands, anything, as James cleans him up and covers him with a blanket.

“I’m apparently developing a new habit,” James says, his voice delightfully rough. He stands and rids himself of his trousers and underwear. 

Q smiles ruefully. “I’m not sure whether or not it’s a compliment, but I’d like to take it as one, if I may.” James nods, looking from Q to his soiled underwear. He smiles.

Once he’s wiped himself clean and taken his dirty clothes to the kitchen, James settles under the soft blanket with Q. He kisses him - his mouth tasting of fresh water rather than what Q was expecting - and his arms go around him instantly.

It’s languid and lovely; Q ends up lying on top of James with the blanket covering them both from the neck down. It’s more sensual than sexual and he feels as though he could spend hours just wrapped up with this man, warm and safe and together.

And there’s something to be said for the way James holds him; like he’s wanted, as though he’s cherished. Q can't think too much about it because he’s wary of where it will lead, but he basks in it all the same, the same way he had the night before.

“Is it okay for me to be lying on you like this?” Q asks, not wanting to move from the warmth of James’ body but concerned about his injuries.

“Hm? Yes. It really doesn’t hurt that much anymore and I’d be willing to put up with a bit of pain for this.” James ruffles his hair then rubs at his scalp, scratching lightly and earning relaxed sighs from Q.

“As long as you're sure,” he says sleepily, settling into a doze.

*

James wakes to Q stroking his hair. “I made stew for dinner with the chicken we bought in town, hungry?” he asks.

“You cook?” James croaks

Q smiles down at him. “Of course I can cook. My grandparents are sometimes away visiting family so both Laura and myself cook, clean and keep house when they’re gone.”

James sits up rubbing his face, then looks at Q.

“For some reason I imagined you too engrossed in books or your work to cook.” He smiles up at him. “I’m not complaining, but I didn’t want to assume.”  
Q shakes his head fondly. “Come on, it’s almost ready.” He heads back into the kitchen and leaves James to follow.

*

Q settles in to read whilst James puts on some music and makes Q a cup of tea. They pass the evening like this, in quiet company, sharing a sofa but not touching or talking. 

Much later, when it’s time for bed, James turns to Q.

“You’re more than welcome to share my room and my bed, Q, for sleeping as well as everything else.”

Q looks up from his book sharply, his eyes wide and mouth slightly open. He’s been sat wondering what would happen tonight, if sharing a bed will be something they do… or if their more intimate and sexual activities will be restricted to day time…

“You’re also welcome to your own room and privacy,” James adds, now looking at Q with worry in his eyes.

He hesitates for a couple of seconds, wondering if this is a good idea… but he’s on holiday, a holiday from who he is back home. He wants to go to bed with James, and will gladly accept any part of himself he’ll offer.

“I’d like to, as long as you’re sure,” he says earnestly, closing his book and standing up. He knows that James has already made sure they’re securely locked in for the night, so all he has to do is follow him upstairs. But his heart is pounding rapidly and he doesn’t know how to stop it. He feels like he’s in far, far too deep already, only a few days in and he wonders - for just a moment - how he’s going to go back to work after this.

“I’m sure, Q.” James makes sure to meet his eyes as he speaks, and his voice is soft and warm.

Q breathes slowly and nods. 

James takes his takes his hand with careful fingers, one at a time until they're laced together. Q thinks he’s going to kiss him. He feels like the moment carries more weight than it should, but James leads him upstairs instead.

The bedroom is much the same as downstairs, bare stone walls, a lovely wooden framed bed with tables on each side. It looks like something out of a fairy tale, enchanting and wonderful; a dream to rest in for a while.

When Q pulls back the covers and slides in, James rolls over onto his side and presses up against his back. Q puts his hands over James’ and holds it to him.

“Goodnight, Q,” he whispers against his neck.

“Goodnight, James.”

***


	3. Down By The River

They’re planning to drive to the next location in a days time and part of Q knows he’ll miss this place, even if James promises the next place is bigger and closer to the river.

They have touched each other in every room of the cottage. Q had near-screamed from his orgasm in the kitchen when James sucked him down whilst he attempted the washing up. He felt James shudder and moan against his neck when Q crawled into his lap and held their cocks together, sucking love bites into his skin. 

It’s been glorious and wonderful to be so free with someone else, so intimate. They’ve slept every night together, even the one in which James woke from a nightmare and Q held him whilst he shook with the fear of it.

James’ body is healed enough that he only as a few bandages, and he’d also tempted Q to join him in the bath. He’d been surprisingly well behaved; waiting until they were in the bedroom before kissing Q soundly and taking him apart.

This morning, Q is sitting outside, working on a new form of encryption he’s been playing around with. James is in the town and due to arrive before lunch, leaving Q to his thoughts.

His determination to get something productive done - and his genuine interest in his work - means that it takes two hours before his thoughts drift again to James.

Q sorts out his work, puts it back into his bag and finally allows himself to really think about it.

_About the man he’s fallen head over heels in love with._

He can’t deny it anymore, how deeply he’s fallen for James, how full his heart feels when they’re simply lying together in bed or his feet are in James’ lap of an evening. Every smile, every touch, every time he catches James laughing…. just being around him…

Q removes his glasses and puts his hands over his eyes, lets his hair whip around his face in the breeze as the sound covers the few sobs that slip through his careful hold; The ones he didn’t see coming until he felt the hot tears on his cheeks.

The wind blows harder. Q feels the onslaught of sudden pain with the incoming rain storm, his love and his sorrow carry and howl with the wind. He’s ashamed by how fast and fully he’s fallen, how much he wants to stay with James. He hates the laws forbidding their relationship in a way he’s never experienced, before this he’d felt a deep pity and sorrow, but now he’s furious.

There’s also nothing to say what James wants past this month away and Q doesn’t think he can ask, wonders if James’ affections will be withdrawn if he questions the limits of this.

As the first drops of rain fall he grabs his glasses and his bag and heads inside. Pulls himself together in the kitchen, washing his face and making a cup of tea.

Q watches the rain lash against the window. His hands are wrapped around his mug, his jumpers sleeves pulled over his hands.

He quietly resolves to love James as much as he can for as long as he can, to be his Q, until the time comes - an event it hurts to contemplate - when he can’t anymore.

*

Half an hour later, the door opens and a somewhat drenched James Bond walks rushes in through it.

Q grabs him a towel and swaps it for the wax-coated canvas bags he’s carrying, then busies himself in the kitchen as James dries off and changes.

“I see the rain caught you, too,” he says from the doorway, his blonde hair looking a little darker from the rain.

“Ah, yes, I wasn’t quite quick enough, but at least my notes and work are safe and dry,” he says, not needing to fake his slightly bashful smile.

James grins, the light in his eyes is bright and focusses on Q alone. His throat feels suddenly tight and his heart swells painfully in his chest.

“Come here?” James suggests, and Q does, falling gratefully against James as they wrap their arms around each other.

“You’re cold,” Q mumbles against his shoulder.

“I know.” He can hear the smile in James’ voice and he closes his eyes, silently offering any kind of warmth and comfort James needs.

***

The new cottage is just as secluded, and running water can be heard from almost any room. The layout is different enough that he takes a wrong turn a few times but other than that Q seems to like it.

James is aware that something has shifted but can’t quite pin it down. It’s certainly not a bad change; Q has been more willing to initiate contact and to reach for James, rather than waiting for permission.

He can’t remember a time in his life when he has loved so freely and so openly. He’s become so used to short flings and passionate affairs whilst staring death in the face that this… this chance to get to know someone without that pressure is almost a dream come true.

It’s just that there are moments where he feels like he’s accidentally overstepped and Q will have this look in his eyes like he’s trying not to cry. James doesn’t know what to say, what it is that Q needs from him. He’s afraid to ask, afraid to break this wonderful spell between them… afraid of being reminded of the likely end to this.

Q works on his encryption, head bent over his notebooks as he works, adjusts and perfects. And it only serves to make it perfectly clear that however much he’s enjoying this; his dedication to his work remains.

So James says nothing and savours every moment he’s allowed. He still doesn’t want to go home, he has no wish to be an agent anymore… but he doesn’t want to be separated completely from this young man who unknowingly holds James’ heart in his hands… so he might return if only just to catch a glimpse of him in Q branch, to know that they live within the same city.

And if he doesn’t come back from a mission in the near future, then it’ll be for the better. Recovering from Vesper took a long time and he hadn’t known her the way he already knows his Q. 

“Which bedroom do you prefer? The beds are both the same size but the back room faces the river and is closer to the bathroom.”

James smiles up at him as Q walks down the stairs.

“It sounds like you’ve already made up your mind,” he says, a smirk pulling at his lips.

“I have put our bags in the back bedroom, yes. I didn’t think you’d object.” He sits himself in James’ lap, legs spread over his thighs, and leans in for a kiss.

James removes his glasses, putting them carefully on the table to their side, then slides his hands up Q’s back and holds him closely as he licks into his mouth. Firm hands grip his shoulders, then a hand slides into his short hair as Q finds a better and deeper angle for the kiss.

He’s gasping and rutting his hips up moments later. “I want you,” he pants as Q sucks a mark into his shoulder.

“I’m right here,” Q reminds him. His eyes are shining and his lips are swollen. Beautiful and mesmerising.

It’s not what James meant but he doesn’t know how to ask… so he leaves it for now.

“Yes, you are, wonderful and unbelievable though it is.” He cups the side of Q’s face and rubs his thumb over his cheek bone.

Their next kiss is softer, Q closes his eyes and lets James bring their mouths together again. He puts his heart into it, tries to communicate to the man in his lap how much he’s come to love him in the short time they’ve known each other.

Q buries his head in James’s neck, shaking as he catches his breath, so James wraps him in his arms and holds him close, wondering if it was too much.

***

They wear each other out that afternoon.

Q welcomes James’ suggestion of an early night so they bath then crawl beneath the sheets together.

Q falls asleep almost immediately, cradled in the loose circle of James’ arms, but he himself can’t fall under.

Instead he focusses on Q’s breathing and how content he looks when he’s sleeping, how he frowns and smiles whilst he dreams. James swallows to try and ease the lump in his throat, the burning in his eyes.

He remembers Q watching him from across the bed when James had shaken himself from a nightmare…. how Q had opened his arms to him, held him close and carded his hands through James’s hair until he fell asleep again. 

It takes him a very long time to fall under but in an odd way he’s grateful, to be able to enjoy Q’s presence, to have another memory he can store away.

***

Q cooks them both a breakfast of sausage, eggs and bacon. He actually prefers the breads, cheeses, meats and pastries of the continent but James’ smile across the breakfast table makes it worth it.

“Do you want to join me for a walk?” James asks once the washing up has been done.

Q nods, then smiles. “Should we put a basket together?” he asks, not quite able to call it a picnic because of the romantic and fairy tale images it conjures up.

“Hm, yes. There are a few things in the cupboard to your right that I bought this morning, just incase you wanted to come.”

Q tips his head to the right and studies the smirk on James’ face and how warm the eyes that greet his are. It’s moments like these that make it easy to believe that James really does love him, that this is all real. So he smiles back with his heart in his eyes, and chooses to live in the dream for another day.

When he opens the cupboard he finds his favourite bread and cake.

“James…” He’s touched and feels somewhat choked. James walks up behind him and puts his arms around his waist and Q leans into him, putting his hands over James’.

“This is your holiday too, I want you to enjoy yourself as much as I am.” His voice is a lovely warm rumble against his ear and Q… Q is overwhelmed by his sincerity. “I know that you must be missing your work and I’m not always the best company… but I want you to enjoy yourself too.”

“I am, enjoying myself, I don’t need to be in Q Branch to work on my own projects.” He closes his eyes tightly and turns his head to nuzzle James’. “I want to be here with you, I promise.”

Their noses brush, then blue eyes blur into his as James finds his mouth and kisses him. Q turns in his arms and squeezes his eyes shut as he kisses back, arms sliding up and around James’ neck, fingers scratching his scalp lightly. Their kiss is deep (Q ignores the discomfort of his glasses) but it’s not frantic… instead it’s passionate and wonderful, so much so that Q buries his head in James’ shoulder to catch his breath and hide his tears.

“I’m still going to keep treating you,” James tells him, when they’ve calmed down and finished with the basket.

Q keeps his head down and nods. “And I you,” he says, wondering if James understands his meaning.

***

Where they are is beautiful, secluded and peaceful. James carries the wine in a cooler bag Q put together as well as the blanket, whilst Q has the basket and a book. 

Q had reached for his hand in their doorway and hasn’t let go since. He seems happy; James can’t find any sign of distress or worry, but he still feels like he’s missing something. 

They settle in the shade of a tree near the river bank. James puts down the blanket and starts arranging things whilst Q takes off his shoes and gets comfy.

He actually allows James to treat him, to pour him wine and feed him slices of fruit. They laugh and kiss and eat; Q’s sounds so wonderfully carefree that James’ heart skips a beat and his true feelings almost slip out of his mouth.

“How long are we staying here for?” He asks, bringing James back to earth.

“A week or two, it depends if we want to move on again or not. Is there anywhere you’d like to go?”

Q puts their things away in the basket and lies down on his back with his head in James’ lap.

“My sister is playing in Paris two days before we’re due to go back and she’s had tickets put aside for us. We don’t have to go.”

“But you would like to see your sister, Laura, wasn’t it?”

Q smiles up at him and hums when James strokes his fingers through his hair.

“Yes.”

“And she’s one of the best flautists in Europe, in a popular orchestra that travels the world, and, though it was never an issue, unavailable to me,” James recites fondly.

“She’s generally unavailable to all men,” Q clarifies, James’ smile gets wider.

“Of course she is.” He shakes his head. “Does M know?”

Q nods. 

“So you really wouldn’t have been offended had I expressed an interest?”

Q rolls his eyes “You did express interest.” 

“And you’re here.”

“Yes, I am.”

James bends down slowly and kisses him; soft and chaste. Q follows his mouth when he sits back up just enough to see his face. He strokes his cheeks and looks down at the man below him with all the tender affection he feels.

“We can head to Paris to see your sister. I’d like to meet her, if I can,” James says, watching Q’s reaction. Hazel eyes stare back at his and as happy as they look…. They’re also a little pensive. “Q?”

He nods. “Thank you.” 

James kisses him again, trying to reassure him, and feels Q’s hand come up and run through his hair. As he deepens the kiss he feels Q relax and his other arm come up around James’ shoulders.

When James starts pressing gentle kisses along Q’s jaw, Q takes off his glasses and sits up, leaning straight back in to James’ mouth.

He leans back against the tree behind him and loses himself in the feeling of the man in his arms, when they slide down to the floor, James spares a glance at Q and smiles at the warmth and affection he sees on his face.

His weight above him is a comfort and though they’re both aroused, he’s not in any rush to take this further. 

Q cups his face and kisses him deeper, licks into his mouth and presses his hips down against James’. In the dappled sunlight he is a beautiful fae from a dream, a wonderful, magical creature that James will follow back to his kingdom and want for nothing from the human world.

His heart swells with affection and his arms curve up and around Q’s shoulders, bringing them together from head to toe.

Their shirts are unbuttoned, left on but open, and Q rolls them both over so that James is above him for a while. Despite their numerous sexual encounters, they have taken turns initiating and exploring each other but as of yet they haven’t had penetrative sex. James has come prepared and he knows that Q has everything they would need at home, yet neither has initiated. 

He remembers trying to ask Q to take him, but the miscommunication had revealed something else instead .

“What?” Q asks, and James realises he’s been staring down at him.

“You’re wonderful,” he says against Q’s mouth, then feels him smile shyly against him. “And beautiful, intelligent,” he continues.

Simon blushes furiously.

“James…. You don’t need to court me, we’re rather past that point,” Q says, flustered but smiling happily.

“That doesn’t mean I’ve suddenly stopped noticing. This has been a rather unusual courtship, after all.”

“Yes, I suppose it has. Kiss me?” Q asks and James obliges, lifting Q up off the ground as he winds his arms back around his waist. 

Their trousers and underpants are shuffled off and folded neatly beside them. 

James knows they aren’t being watched or likely to be found and he’s touched by how much faith and trust Q has in him.

He reaches down between them and strokes Q’s erection in just the way he knows he likes it, rubbing his own against the grove of Q’s abdomen.

Q months at his neck, sucking love bites there to muffle the sound.

When Q breaks off panting for breath, his eyes meet James’ and suddenly he can see everything… the love, the uncertainty, the fear and the sorrow… and in return James knows Q can see him just as clearly… all the pain, the sorrow and the heartbreak…. And how much he loves Q and wants to stay with him.

He comes hard, Q following moments behind him but he’s so overwhelmed by everything else that it registers as secondary. He’s so overwhelmed that he follows his instincts and kisses him deeply, pouring all of his love out into Q.

James is held tightly in Q’s arms when he moves to clean them up, only managing to place a towel over their groins.

“Please,” Q whispers. “Please.”

And as James cradles Q against him, he feels his heart break in his chest at how desperate his lover sounds.

“It’s okay,” James tells him. “I’m not going to leave you.”

Q shudders and sobs, his breath stuttering as he holds on tighter. James is very much aware that he’s crying too but he doesn’t think Q has noticed, so he holds him and soothes him until he calm down. 

He cleans them both up with quick efficiency and dresses whilst Q does the same, but when Q goes for his own cardigan, James hands him his jumper instead and takes Q’s over sized cardigan for himself.

Q wraps himself in it, sorts his hair out and puts his glasses back on. James, next to him, clears the rest of their things away. He pretends, as he does, that he doesn’t notice Q staring at him then darting his eyes away when James tries to catch his eyes.

***  
They don’t go far when they pack up, instead they stop half way back to their cottage and settle on a small bridge with their feet dangling in the clear, cool, water off the stream. 

“I love you,” James says, carefully keeping his eyes on the water in front of them. “I’ve wanted to tell you since the middle of last week, but your seemed - seem - resistant to hearing it.” He doesn’t get a response so he continues. “There is something else I should tell you. I’m not planning on returning to MI6.”

“Does M know?” Q asks, his voice his rough and quiet.

“No. I wasn’t going to tell him until my holiday was over. I’ve come in to some money and it’s enough to retire and live quietly.”

“Of all the Double Os you have the reputation for living the fastest and hardest. I find it surprising and hard to believe that you would want to stay away from a job you seem to love.”

“I do seem to love it, don’t I,” James says darkly. “But it’s all been a matter of choosing to live the life I have in the best way I can. I won’t deny that I used to enjoy all of it, nor that there are parts that have never lost their charm… but without the money to leave it was easy to live as fast and hard as I was… to spend and gamble, fuck, smoke and drink. If I was going to die before my retirement then I may as well enjoy what life I had.”

“So whatever happened on your last mission…”

“Was enough for me to realise what I really wanted, the moment it was possible.”

Q swallows. “Which was?”  
“A life that didn’t involve almost being killed on multiple occasions and having to trade my body for the protection of Queen and Country. It’s not a regret, as such, but more acknowledging that it doesn’t have to be that way anymore. It’s true that I had started to have feelings for my mission partner… but it was nothing, nothing at all to what I feel for you. I liked her, I love you.”

Q lets the silence resonate between them, emphasising the rift James seems to have unknowing torn between them. 

“Simon-“

“Don’t. Don’t call me that,” Q snaps. “I’ve gotten used to it; being your Q, being another version of myself who’s free to love you in a way I never could back in London. If you now decide to call me by my name then I can’t have any hope of recovering from this.”

James goes cold all over, shivers with his words.

Q continues, “I’ve been making my peace with the idea that when this is over, it’s over… and to love you and enjoy our time together until I had to give it up... and then I… you… we… James, I don’t know what to do or what to say.”

“You’re under no obligation to do anything you don’t want to.”

Q’s laugh is sad and distressed. “I’ve never been in love with anyone before… never had my world turned upside down and I don’t know what to do or what to think.”

James is harshly reminded that love is not enough… he closes his eyes and turns his head away. It hurts, it hurts more than he was expecting, but he can’t show Q.

“I'll sleep in the other room tonight,” he says, as calmly as he can. “And for as long as you need me to.” Then he stands on legs he tries to pretend aren’t shaking and goes to walk behind Q and towards the cottage.

Q reaches out his hand and grips James’ wrist. “You know that I love you, and after this afternoon I'm in no doubt that you love me too… but how on earth can we even make this work? Even if we want to?”

“We try,” James says. “Take your time. I’ll be at the cottage.”

He sees Q nod out of the corner of his eye then he walks away. He doesn’t run, doesn’t turn around despite knowing Q is watching him; he goes back, climbs the stairs and makes it to the bathroom before he breaks apart and cries.

***  
Q watches the water for a long time and when the temperature dips he wraps himself warmer within his jumper, then sobs when he remembers it’s James’.

He remembers crying in the rain only a short time ago and how cathartic it was. But right now he’s too exposed and shaken to cope with any of this.

When he comes back to the cottage three hours later he dumps the basket and blanket on the table, then locks the door behind him.

He heads straight to the phone and dials a safe and direct line to his home. It’s not something he should know how to do… but his job comes with a few hidden talents.

_“Simon?”_ Laura asks when he says hello. _“You have scary timing sometimes, but then, of course you do.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks for the kudos, comments and support!!!


	4. You Need More than Just Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the Kudos and comments!!!!

Laura stays on the phone with Q for an hour, consoling and listening and giving her advice. She and her girlfriend are alone in their house for a couple of days whilst their grandparents visit other family so she can be perhaps more honest that she could if they were home.

He feels better afterwards, calmer and more able to think clearly. He showers and finds fresh bread in the kitchen for him, though James remains out of sight.

He eats and sips his tea as he looks outside at the remains of the late afternoon sun.

Though still shaken, he knows he’s equally responsible for their current situation. He can still remember how it felt when James dropped his barriers and let Q see everything… leaving him equally as open and able to feel so much it’s still beyond his comprehension.

He cleans up after himself, does the security checks and heads upstairs. Picks James’ jumper up and puts it back on, then heads down the corridor to the second bedroom.

“James, can we talk?” he asks.

“Come in.”

He does and finds James sat on the chair next to the window, book open in his lap and a worn look on his face that hurts Q to see. It’s such a startling difference to the love he’d seen earlier and serves as yet another reminder that this might be all his fault. 

He’s still wearing Q’s cardigan but somehow it doesn’t make this any easier.

“I’m sorry,” he says, but James averts his eyes when he tries to meet them, looking out of the window instead.

“If you need me to drive you to the nearest train station then I won’t object. Just let me know when you want to leave.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I know you were talking to your sister, I can only think that you want to go home and I won’t force you to stay,” his voice cracks as he speaks, and Q remembers James telling him he was too tired to keep up the persona of a Double O.

“I’ve always thought it was better to talk through problems that to simply run away from them,” he says. He gets no response so he sits on the side of the bed a couple of feet behind James’ chair. “It’s a lot for me to take in, an awful lot. I’m not used to romantic affection and I’m certainly not used to being loved. I wasn’t even sure that you did love me, that you’d want to… and I’d never consider that you’d retire so soon.” He lets his head fall into his hands and breathes deeply. “I thought my feelings for you were foolish and the more I loved you; the more I’d fall apart when I got home. So after… after this afternoon I was left shaken and confused.

“When you call me Q I can separate everything…. but when you call me Simon… I can’t keep anything hidden. I wasn’t going to confess my feelings, I just wanted to make sure you recovered after everything you’ve seen… do you understand?”

“You didn’t think I could ever love you.”

“No, I didn’t think you could love me and still do your job. A job I thought you loved as much - if not more. And of course I couldn’t ever hope that you would choose me. Society won’t accept us - even if my family will - and I couldn’t be your kept man at home… or even at work knowing what you were risking and not being able to admit my feelings to anyone. And if you… if you one day didn’t come home…. I would have to continue on as if I wasn’t affected. Equally, I don’t imagine that you would keep house whilst I worked. There would be too many questions, people talk and there are no exceptions for anyone with homosexual tendencies - even in our lines of work… and I think you’d get bored rather quickly.”

“You don’t have a problem with loving another man, in principle at least.” James’ voice is so blank and lacking inflection that Q is left cold.

“I wouldn’t be here if I did,” he says with a hint of annoyance.

“But you think we should bow down to asinine rules about who we’re allowed to love.”

Q shakes his head but James can’t see him. 

“That’s not it.”

“Please enlighten me.”

“… I’m scared of losing you when I don’t feel that I’ve been with you long enough to feel this way. It’s been breaking my heart every time I look at you; when you can’t see me, when you can… when I thought that perhaps you didn’t feel the same… every time I haven’t felt that I can be enough for you… that I shouldn’t expect to be.” He takes a deep, shuddering breath and wipes the tears from his cheek.

“We can live anywhere. I have a small fortune, Q. My only concern is you and your work. I know it’s important to you or you wouldn’t have brought it on holiday. I also don’t want to take you from a family who love you.”

“You sound so sad, as if you’ve already given up,” Q whispers because he's unable to speak any louder. “And I know that you might think that I have as well, but I haven’t. I just don't know what to do.”

“What do you want?” James asks in a slightly hopeful tone.

“To be free to love you without fear, to make you happy and ease your pain. To know you better and for you to meet my family… to be a part of my life. Silly things, things we can’t have.” Q’s voice cuts off on a sob. He collects himself and runs his fingers through his hair, pushes his glasses back against his nose. 

“Q, you solve problems for a living and you invent encryptions to safe guard things you need to keep safe. If either of us can come up with a solution in the remaining two or so weeks we’re here, then we’ll stay together,” James says calmly but his voice is tight.

“James, will you look at me?” Q asks gently.

There's a few seconds in which he contemplates that James can’t stand the sight of him. Then James does turn and Q sees a face streaked with silent tears and eyes so sad and forlorn that it takes his breath away.

Q is up from the edge of the bed and on the side of the chair, cradling James’ head against his chest, before he realises he’s moved at all.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I do love you very much, James, I do. I just don’t know what to do.”

James holds on to his waist with his hands fisted in the back of Q’s borrowed jumper. His tears run and soak into the wool and his cotton shirt underneath it, but he keeps holding on; stroking his hands through short, blonde hair.

He looks down at James and wonders what on earth is happening to him. Laura has told him that love is an unexplainable and complex feeling and she’s been clear that it alone is not enough - no matter what poets and musicians claim. Love, trust and respect are vital.

But she didn’t ever explain how irrational he feels in this moment; how much he wants to protect the man in his arms and make him happy at the cost of all else. Could it be worth it? Could a life with James really bring him everything he needs?

He hopes so. Simon really, really hopes so.

***

When James’ tears subside, Q heads to the kitchen and returns with strong tea sweetened with both honey and milk. He’s also warmed the rest of the pastries they had left in the cupboard. James is sat on the floor now so Q places the tray in front of them, then settles down next to James; kisses him on the cheek and rests his head momentarily on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Q.”

“For what? It appears to be me that’s been overreacting,” Q says lightly, stirring his tea and taking a sip.

“I invited you knowing that, although I wouldn’t expect you to reciprocate, it was possible that I would fall in love with you.” 

“And I’m sure on some level that I agreed to this with the same reasoning. I’m very good at compartmentalising and ignoring what I know. It helps within work but not always with things outside of it.”

“The war?” James asks.

“In part, yes.”

“How old were you?”

“I was ten when war broke out, Laura was five. Our grandparents lived in Gloucestershire so they immediately offered to take us in when it became clear just how bad things were going to get. My father and mother decided to keep us for as long as possible and, well. We were lucky to survive. My grandmother came to get us on the next train. Laura doesn’t remember much of it at all but I saw them die.”

“Were you in a shelter?” James asks quietly.

Q’s far off in his memories, staring at his tea, but James’ voice still comes through to him, so he answers. “No. My mother and father had some…. issues. In all honesty my mother was addicted to opiates and they used some of our ration vouchers to feed her habit. We were in the house, I hid with Laura under the stairs and tried to drag our parents with us but they refused, stayed in the front room…. I could see them through the cracks in the door. It was awful, but I pushed it to one side for Laura and kept going.”

“I’m sorry,” James tells him, putting an arm around him and reaching for a croissant with the other. “My parents died in a climbing accident and I was sent to live with my great aunt. She tried her best and did what she could but she was always at arms length. I was sent to boarding school, then another when I acted up, then university. The military just seemed like the best choice after that.” James shrugs. 

“My grandparents were and are wonderful. They’ll support whatever decision I make and would approve of you. As would Laura and her girlfriend Eevi.”

“Is it your job you’re worried about?” James asks, carefully, tentatively. He busies himself with finishing his croissant and his tea.

Q takes a sip of his before he answers. “Yes, but not that alone. I like my life. My library of books and my cats, my family, my work. When it comes down to it, I’m furious that I have to choose, that it can be illegal to love someone based solely on their gender. But then I realise that if I were a woman I would be expected to give it up, to leave or end the relationship, lest I be a danger to national security.”

“That has always seemed very unfair; particularly given that we are always encouraged to take as many lovers as we please,” he says with distaste.

“You don’t usually come across that way.”

James shrugs. “I’m not supposed to… and some lessons I’ve had to learn the hard way, I’ll admit. But no, at least to me, has always meant no…. Unless another arrangement has been made, a safe word, if you will.”

Q wrinkles his nose and is delighted when James laughs.

“It’s not something I want to repeat. I prefer it when there are feelings involved, even if I did go overboard this afternoon.”

“It was going to happen sooner or later. I’ve barely been able to conceal it as it is. I won’t hide from now on. I don’t know how I held back for so long.” He smiles shyly at James and kisses his cheek. “If we can make this work in the long run I will do whatever I can.”

“As will I, but, Q, I really don’t see that we will be able to be together in London.”

“I know. I’m more than aware that service to your country - and even bringing an end to the war - doesn’t exclude anyone from the law.” He shudders. “It’s abhorrent.”

James squeezes him closer and Q rests his head on his shoulder, watching the rain batter the windows.

***

They decide to stay another week by virtue of the location and telephone. The brilliant bakery doesn’t hurt either and Q is delighted when he finds a slightly out-of-the way bookshop. He converses in happy French with the owner and buys books in English, French and Italian. It’s not until later, when he speaks with James, that he discovers the shop is actually semi-famous for those in the know and offers a range of highly collectible books from all over the world.

It makes Q miss home a little less.

They do plan out their route up to Paris and Q calls ahead to book them into a quiet hotel Laura recommends to him on the phone. Their room will be next to his grandparents and they’ll be there for two nights.

James says that he only has to lie low for a while and being seen in Paris at that time - to see an orchestra no less - will not be odd or suspicious. It’s very much people in the service in London that he’s avoiding.

As the days pass they go for walks, read, swim in a small lake nearby - on the suggestion of the locals, and spend a good deal of time in bed with each other.

Q puts his whole heart into all of it, not allowing worry about their future cloud him. He’s decided to give up his work if need be, given there’s more to life than it, but he would rather find a way to keep contributing to more than just his notebooks.

James lets himself be coaxed into dancing one evening after Q brings home a record and sets it to play, hopeful and beautiful when he holds his hand out to James.

“Are you leading?” 

Q looks at his hands. “I genuinely don’t mind. Dancing is dancing, though I’m not used to following, and I’m guessing it’s the same for you.”

He lets James take the lead and settles in as they waltz around the room.

Inevitably they get closer and closer until they’re stood swaying gently to the music and kissing in he soft light of the cottage.

They’re slow and gentle with each other that night; James hands Q the KY jelly and condoms they’ve both had with them the entire time and nods once.

“Are you sure?” Q asks, stroking his hand down James’ chest and watching as the skin beneath his palm flushes.

“Yes, please?” he asks and of course Q can’t say no; doesn't want to at all.

This is a new area for both of them so they’re careful until Q is pushing inside and James has his feet hooked on his back and blue eyes are staring into his.

He understands without being told just how much faith has been put in him; far more than just their current intimacy, so he strokes James’ cheek, leans down and kisses him softly.

“I love you,” he says in the breath between their lips. “I’m not going to let you go.”

“I love you too,” he pauses and searches Q’s eyes for permission, which he grants. “Simon.”

It makes Q smile wider than he has in a long time, and so he moves, never straying far from James’s body.

They’re both wordless when they come, and their cleanup is silent as well. James lets Q wash him down in the shower and kisses him until he’s breathless against the cool tile wall.

***   
The next night they set up some of Q’s insect repellent candles and lay out picnic blankets, pillows and the comforter from the second bedroom. The sky above them is beautifully, wonderful clear and they can see nothing but stars and the Milky Way.

Q loves the stars but he doesn’t know them as well as his sister, James seems to have a near-perfect knowledge but says it’s because of his time in the service. He even goes so far as to tell him about using the stars to escape and get safely back to base during a particularly nasty mission. He speaks with his hands in the air above them and a fondness for the past instead of a longing to go back to it.

Q shares stories about family holidays with Laura and their grandparents at the beach, watching Laura play her first major concert and how he still accompanies her on piano when she and Eevi are at home and practicing.

“Does Eevi live with you?”

“Sometimes. Her mother is Swedish and her dad’s Finish so she speaks four languages and has taught Laura Swedish… anyway, she has no family in England so she lives with us whenever they’re in London. The orchestra sorts out accommodation for them when they’re elsewhere.”

“It works in their favour that they’re both women, I suppose,” James comments.

“Yes, but it’s hardly for the best of reasons. Laura is grateful that for once the ingrained sexist attitude in the country means their love falls under the radar… but it is one of the few advantages.”

“That is very true.”

They watch the stars and listen to the sounds of the water flowing close by, and the calls of birds awake with the moon.

“After Vesper died I swore not to love again, not to fall pray to the weaker emotions because it would only break my heart in the end. Of course, that’s not what's happened, but I think you should know at least a little about it.”

Q nods and turns to lie on his side and face James, taking his hand in his.

“I was going to ask her to marry me, I thought she was all I could ever have wanted… and I swore to myself to destroy the people who drove her to her death. M sent me away for a while afterwards to allow me to recover but it didn’t go as well as either of us expected and I ended up staying in a beach house in Cornwall that his family owns.

“When I got back to work neither of us addressed it again but SMERSH is now gone and I’ve recovered from her loss… but I still love as fast and as faithfully and I can’t bare the thought of us separating… what we have is worth fighting for. That afternoon I was convinced I would lose you and I was powerless to stop it. I don’t have a right to demand your love or your company and you felt like sand flowing through my fingers. There was nothing I could do except let you.”

“I kept going between being painfully sad and grateful for being able to give you the love you needed. It was exhausting and it was hurting me more and more as each day went on, but it doesn’t feel like that anymore. I want to be with you, James Bond. I’d marry you if ever it were possible.”

James startles and his eyes find Q’s in the dark; endlessly blue and shining with the light of the stars above. 

Q can’t help but smile at how lovely he looks, how much softer he is here than within the walls of MI6. His strength is undeniable but he doesn't flaunt it or use it to take what he wants. There’s a certain amount of honour and determination, loyalty and faith, and Q loves him more than he thought would ever be possible.

“I would have you stand so that I might get down on one knee to propose to you but I don’t have a ring and no where in the world will consent to marrying us,” Q says.

“I'd accept such a proposal.”

“Well then,” he stutters slightly. “Should there ever come a time when we can get married, we will.” 

James squeezes his hand and presses a kiss against his cheek.

He listens as James names the stars in some of the constellations, his voice has such a lovely rich timbre that Q is enchanted by it, by this man that will move heaven and earth to stay with him.

“Where are we going to live?” he asks once silence settles between them.  
“I don’t know. I have a large estate in Scotland but its isolated and cold, I’d rather sell it and add the money to what we have already. Is there anywhere you’d like to live, outside of England.”

Q blinks at the we in that sentence and considers the question. “Anywhere here would be fine, we both speak the language and Laura plays here often enough. My grandparents have visited a few times as well.”

“You know, we could always travel for a while first. There are trains that can take us across the continent if you wanted to see Italy or Belgium, Switzerland or anywhere else.”

“Hm? Where would you recommend?”

“Venice is lovely, Brugge is an old and beautiful city. It wouldn’t be difficult to come up with a cover as to why two men are traveling together, and you’d be surprised by how many people will turn a blind eye.”

“I wouldn’t know,” he admits. “This is all very new to me.”

“I tend to notice things that others don’t, so my knowledge is second hand,” James says, kissing the top of Q’s head. “The question is; how will you continue with your work?”

“I don’t know. As you’ve seen, I can do a lot of it without needing to be in work…. but I suspect I’ll have to return every now and again with any system I perfect.”

“I’ll come with you, let those in MI6 think we’ve been working undercover somewhere.”

“If M will approve it,” Q says, a slightly sullen edge to his tone.

“I think he might,” James says thoughtfully.

“I hope so.” Though Q has already decided to stay with James regardless, see some of the world and live a different kind of life than he had imagined for himself. “We’ll think of something,” he adds hooking his leg over James’ and snuggling closer underneath the blanket.

They shuffle until James can wrap his arms around Q and tangle their legs together. He holds on tightly, and Q feels himself relax. 

“You can sleep, if you want to,” James whispers against his ear. “I’ll carry you up to bed.”

Q hums and nuzzles his neck. “Okay.” And he drifts off to sleep with the stars over head and James all around him.

***


	5. A Private Box at The Theatre

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to meet the family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be 6 chapters instead of 5 because I’ve written an epilogue!  
> I’m also posting this whilst on the Ilse of Wight!!! For anyone who’s read Overdue Holiday, I’m staying in _the_ cottage ^^
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

“I told you that was the wrong one,” Q complains, hands in fists on his sides and an annoyed expression on his face.

“I know about cars, Q,” James grumbles, head over the engine.

“I am perfectly aware of that, however, this is a new model with certain improvements that I am up to date with. Let me do it.”  
They’d run into some difficulty and since then had bickered continuously - Q huffing and complaining every time James does something he doesn’t approve of.

“You told me you don’t have any of your tools with you,” James reminds him, unable to hold back a smile at the simmering anger in Q’s hazel eyes.

“I’m looking at one, only he’s not the best one for the job,” Q snaps.

James finally relents and steps out of his way, cleans his hands and holds them out for Q’s jacket. He hands him an oversized shirt James keeps as a spare for times like these and he quickly changes.

“Thank you. I’ll need your assistance.”

“Of course, Q.” James smiles as Q sighs and shakes his head, muttering under his breath about agents and their inability to leave equipment alone.

He finds it amusing, given how Q had claimed he’d never have made Q within MI6… he really might have been able to, but he’s dismissed it completely in favour of a life with James. There is a part of him that feels bad for taking this young, brilliant quartermaster out of a world that could have seen him realise his potential…. but Q doesn’t seem to mind or be angry; instead he’s started to build a different life and future with James; with their relationship as it’s solid foundation.

“I used to race, you know,” James says when Q shuts the boot, cleans his hands and gets changed again.

“Hm, I’m not at all surprised. You aren’t, however, a mechanic, and such a beautiful and new car deserves only the best care,” he raises his eyebrows in a silent challenge to James but seems satisfied with the repentant smile he receives instead.

James cups his cheek and kisses him, hearing a faint ‘oh’ against his mouth. 

Q blinks rapidly, in the way he tends to do whenever he’s flustered, when James stands back, grinning at him.

“Right, well, lets keep going, shall we?” He turns and opens the passenger side door, closing it behind him firmly.

James grins wider and gets back in the car. The engine revs to life beautifully.

“Thank you, Q.”

Q smiles, warm and genuine. “You’re welcome, 007.”

James laughs.

***

They check into their hotel in the early afternoon. James modifies the booking to be a suite, three bedrooms and a sitting room. Q smiles but doesn't stop him, thinking his grandparents will be surprised and grateful.

Paris is bright and breezy but it doesn’t have the romanticism that Q was expecting. 

His grandparents aren't expected for another few hours, so when someone knocks on the door, James immediately moves in front of Q, then steps silently towards the door.

“Brother, it’s me,” Laura says in French, just loud enough to be heard over the tense, ringing silence of the room.

Q and James relax and open the door.

His sister stands with her hair in loose curls around her, and a shawl over her shoulders that he bought her for her birthday. Eevi is stood behind her; blonde hair rolling down her back, and green eyes smiling warmly at Q.

James shuts the door behind them, double checking it’s locked, before Q introduces them all to each other.

Laura hugs him warmly, smelling of home - even though it isn’t possible - and he feels tears spring in his eyes.

“I have missed you so much,” he whispers.

“I’ve missed you too.” She squeezes him tighter. 

Q fixes her fringe when they step back and hugs Eevi, watching James as he accepts a warm hug from Laura, looking at her afterwards as if he’s about to ask her permission to marry Q.

She seems to sense James’ nervousness and and squeezes his hand warmly.

“I don’t have to warn you, you seem to be the sort of person to punish themselves for any pain they may cause, far more than I or anyone in the family could. I only ask that you don’t stay too far away for too long.”

James smiles warmly at her and places his other hand on her shoulder - there isn’t too much difference in their height so they’re almost face to face. “Simon tells me that you travel, we might be able to schedule some visits that way.” He looks at Q. “But we won’t stay away from home for more than a few months at a time.”

“Excellent. I’ll show you our travelling schedule in the morning.”

Eevi squeezes Q’s waist. “We are planning a week off in Sweden, you should both join us - my parents home is secluded and lovely. Please, you’d be more than welcome.”

“That sounds lovely,” Q says softly, touched by their offers and acceptance.

“Now,” James announces. “I’ll order some tea up here and we can relax for a while until you grandparents join us.”

***

“You’re worried,” Eevi says. “But I can’t work out what it is that’s bothering you.”

James grins wryly. “Are you usually able to read people so easily?” he asks kindly.

“Sometimes.” She shrugs. “I’ve learned that a lot of people have to hide many different parts of themselves just to be accepted…. Quite by accident, and I do keep it to myself. Laura was a revelation because she didn’t hide it… and over the years we fell in love. I know we’re only 21… but..”

“When you know, you know.”

“Yes, exactly.”

James takes a deep breath and puts down the plate of pastries, the china ringing like a bell when it meets the table.

“I am afraid that the life we’re going to be living will hurt him. But I can’t imagine one without him anymore. I’m worried that I won’t be enough for him, that our love will hurt us both.”

Eevi considers this carefully, curling her fingers in her blonde hair. “Everyone feels that way. Regardless of gender or circumstance. There is always a fear that you will be hurt or that you will be the one to cause pain. We’re human, it’s unavoidable.”

“Wise reasoning.”

Eevi laughs warmly, turning to face him directly. “I’m afraid I can’t take credit for it. My parents said it to me and Laura last summer, when we told them we were together.”

“They don’t mind either?”

Eevi shakes her head. “Not at all, no. It was decriminalised in 1944, I think, but in general no one where I grew up really minds at all. England is a little…. Backwards when it comes to some things, not that my country is perfect…. It isn’t… but it’s not so rigid on love and gender.”

“Is that why Laura’s attitude came as a surprise?” James asks her.

“Partly, yes. But she’s just open to a lot of ideas.” She giggles to herself at a memory and then explains to James. “At least half the orchestra is open to… new experiences. And anyone who isn’t just lets those who are do as they please. It’s the same in most ballet companies and theatres. The arts give a different sort of freedom, though some have to be very careful.”

“Very true. I’ve never been particularly talented in that area, and I have always been attracted to women as well….”

“Then you fell in love with Simon, who until now has shown no preference for any gender at all.” Eevi says, fond.

On the other side of the room Laura and Q are talking animatedly about the books he found for himself and for her, and also, James thinks - but can’t be sure - some of Q’s notes. It wouldn’t at all surprise him if Laura is as bright as her brother and has simply chosen another path…. M likely knows if that’s the case.

“I don’t think he or I could do this without the support you’ve shown us, and that of his grandparents.”

Eevi nods. “It can be very hard on all involved. But you have us, so you should be able to work things out. Just, he sometimes gets a bit too in his own head, so watch out for that, okay? He might need to be reminded of what he has, and that you’re not going anywhere without him.”

James nods, remembering how Q had kept his feelings hidden until they got so bottled up that he broke down.

“And I want you to know - you and Laura - that if there is ever anything that you need, then please ask. I will do what I can.”

Eevi eyes him carefully, then smiles, seeing something she approves of.

“We will.”

***

“How long until your grandparents arrive?” James asks, pacing nervously in their bedroom. They’ve washed up and are resting in casual clothes until they need to get dressed for the evening.

Q walks across the room and flops down onto the chez lounge at the foot of their bed.

“Soon, I think,” he says, checking his notes again, and, when he’s happy he puts them all away and locks them in the hidden compartment of his bag next to the sofa.

James is standing, staring at him from the other side of the room. He looks worried.

“James, what is it?” Q asks, finally starting to get worried.

“I’ve never been in the position to meet anyone's grandparents before,” he admits, looking unfairly ashamed.

Q stands and joins him by the window - the curtains are closed enough that no one can see in. He puts his hands on James’ shoulders and rubs in calming circles with his thumbs.

“I haven’t ever introduced them to anyone either. But they know already that M only asked me to join you because he approves of you and that will be enough for them. And Laura and Eevi like you.” He looks at the floor between them, suddenly shy. “I know this is…. Different…. And I do.. I do know that you didn’t expect to ever be in this position….” He swallows harshly.

“Q, I’m not changing my mind, I want to spend my life with you and this afternoon hasn't change that… but they’re so important to you and I’m about to tell them that we’ll be away for months at a time. I’m worried.”

Q breathes until the tension is gone from his body, until he feels comfortable enough to look at James again.

“You needn't be. I think they’ll be relieved, if anything. They’ve been concerned that I’ll spend my whole life shut away in my work. They’d much rather I see some of the world with someone I love than stay at home with them,” he admits, pouting slightly.

“Q,” James says fondly. “They just want you to be happy.” He cups Q’s cheek.

Q places his hand over James’. “As do I.” Their eyes meet and they exchange soft smiles and softer kisses.

There’s a muffled series of knocks and a key in the main suite door a few minutes later, so the head out to greet them.

***  
His grandparents are enamoured with James, Q can tell, he makes tea and sits down with them in the suite’s sitting room.

He’s polite and courteous, a tad formal and a little nervous, but it all works in James’ favour, even if he doesn’t realise it. 

“Mallory said he was a fine man, worn out by the action he’s seen but with a far softer heart than he’d wish on anyone,” his grandmother says gently, as she and Q sit back; James and William already engaged in a conversation surrounding their love of cars.

“I’d say that’s a fair assumption, one I wish I’d made before I almost ruined us.”

“I’m sure you didn’t mean to.”

“No, not at all. I’m afraid I was much too worried about getting my own heart broken to realise. Laura talked some sense into me,” he adds, leaning into her shoulder.

“You will both be welcome to visit whenever you’re in London.”

Q freezes.

His grandmother smiles but continues. “It will also work out rather well should we all go away together, your sister and Eevi included, of course. No one will thing twice of two siblings and their loves on holiday with grandparents, not if we’re careful.” Her eyes twinkle and finally, finally Q breathes a little easier. 

“Laura on James’ arm and Eevi on mine,” he agrees. 

He looks over at James, knowing he can tell, but not outwardly showing it. Q smiles so he knows it’s nothing serious.

“The truth is that I’m still trying to think of a way for it to work, and for me not to go mad without my job… though travelling the world, that… that would hold my attention for a while. Perhaps even long enough for things to improve at home.” 

“Perhaps.” She places her hand over his. “It’s okay, darling, you won’t lose yourself to this. Love shouldn’t be like that.”

He swallows, glad of his grandmother’s touch that soothes the tremors in his hand.

“I want him to be happy.”

“Of course you do, but you want your own happiness as well. As it should be.” Her next words are quiet, careful and wary. “Your parents were drunk on a love that was burning them up from the inside with every dose they took. It was how they met, and, sweetheart, how they died. We did all we could.”

He nods, choking back a cry. “I know.”

Marigold puts her arm around his shoulder and hugs him close to her, awkward though their position is, and Q is so, so grateful for her, for them.

When he’s settled, she stands. “William, we should change. We’ll see you both later,” she says, leading her husband out of the door to their room, closing it softly behind them.

James comes over to the couch and holds his hands out to Q, he takes them and lets James pull him to his feet.

“Q?”

He shakes his head and wraps his arms around James instead.

James’ places one arm around his waist and his other hand in Q’s hair, ruffling it then smoothing it down.

“We can talk about it if you want to,” he offers.

“My grandmother was just reminding me that I am not at all like my parents…. and that I can… I can have this, I can be with you.”

James presses a warm kiss to his temple, the words rumbling against his skin. “Of course you can. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

***

“I suppose I should have expected this,” James remarks.

“Not at all, Bond,” M says, sitting at his side as the hall fills for the performance. They’re in a secured balcony that Laura has arranged for them.

Q is with his grandparents, they’ve gone to see Laura before the performance starts. James had declined and instead decided to scope the place out.

He puts the safety back on the gun in his hand and re-holsters it.

“I’m not here on official business, I’m here to see my niece, of sorts, play in the orchestra. She always makes sure I can attend her performances, though I manage to see so few of them because of my work.”

James nods. “That isn’t the only reason you’re here, is it.”

“No. Though I would have been here regardless of your attendance, it has worked out rather well. Things are quieter at home.   
You would be welcome to return, if you wished to. I’d also be willing and able to offer you retirement… on whatever grounds you choose. Medical would be easiest.”

“I accept.”

M nods, settling in to his seat. “As expected. Your payments will be made to your preferred account, I know you have the rest put in place.”

James smiles wryly. He has always respected M, but perhaps no more so than in this moment.

“I will talk with my nephew after the performance, you needn’t worry, James, I’m not here to separate you.”

“Thank you,” he says with gratitude. 

M greets Marigold and William fondly, and settles a warm hand on Q’s shoulder. James stands back but sees the tension drain out of Q when M leans over and whispers in his ear.

Q holds James’ hand through the performance as discreetly as possible, even with their present company. And it feels, for the first time in a very, very long time, as though he’s surrounded by family.

***

M takes them all to a private room at a local restaurant, one he seems to know well. James settles only when he’s sure it’s secure, but even at his most relaxed it would take a less than a second for him to be on high alert.

He watches as M speaks with both Laura and Q on the sofas and coffee table on the other end of the room. Eevi, Marigold and William entertain themselves, as though this is something they’re used to.

Then Laura comes and sits at his side as her brother and M lean their heads together and the conversation takes a more serious turn.

“Do we have the same employer?” he asks quietly, candidly.

“Yes, or rather, we did. I believe you’re recently retired.”

“Hmm, very recently.”

Laura laughs, a warm and friendly sound.

“And it depends what you mean by employer. I proof read and check my brothers work from time to time, add my input and share ideas. My uncle would like me to expand my role ever so slightly, and provide a more…. long distance source of support. I am right in thinking that there will be some overlap between my performances and the places you visit?”

“Some.”

Laura looks equal parts relieved and excited.

“He’s been coming to my performances on and off for years. Sometimes I see him before or afterwards, sometimes he can’t stay. Nothing will change regarding that. I might just have more than a letter to pass home with him occasionally.”

“If I hadn’t heard you play this evening I’d say you were waisted in the orchestra, but perhaps I should say that you’d make an excellent member of MI6.”

Laura laughs. “If they allowed women to work in all departments and in all positions, you mean.” James nods. “Maybe. But I love my music and Eevi more. Besides, as I said, we used to share the same employer. And before all of this, myself and my brother had the same mathematic tutelage.”

“Does Eevi know?”

“She knows I’m good at maths and that I have a doting uncle. It’s best for her to officially be kept in the dark, keeps us safer.”

James smiles. “Very true.”

***

“You have a lovely sister and a very kind family,” James says, later in bed. 

Q smiles. “I know.” He presses his face into James’ chest and takes a deep breath. “And I’m going to miss them terribly,” he admits quietly. “But it’s worth it, I know it is. I don’t want to live my life wondering what would have happened if I’d taken this chance, to be with you.”

James holds him tight. “I really do love you, Simon.”

“And I you, James.” He leans back to see his face. “You don’t have to stop calling me Q, I really don’t mind. Actually, I’ve grown to like it.”  
“  
Are you sure?” James asks, his eyes wary. 

Q knows he’s remembering what he’s said before; about separating himself to try and avoid pain. He’d known deep down it wasn’t possible and he’s glad he doesn’t have to go back to a life without this, without the man in his arms. 

“I’m sure, 007,” he says, knowing James understands. 

James rubs their noses together and kisses him softly, and carding fingers through Q’s hair. 

“Thank you, Q.”

He laughs; a quiet, happy sound. It makes him shiver all over when James sounds like that, his voice low, rough and amused. 

“We should sleep,” Q says. 

“Yes, we have a full day tomorrow.” James can hardly take the smile from his face. He looks somewhat bemused at the idea of spending the day surrounded by Q and his family. The only downside is that they will be back to hiding who they are in public, but it’s a small price, given everything else they now have. 

*

“James?” Q says a while later; he can’t seem to drift to sleep. “Do you think it will change for people like us back home?”

“I don’t know but I hope so.” 

“Hmmm. Me too.”

“I’ve seen so much hate and violence,” James tells him, now stroking his hair. “That peoples hatred of love has always astounded me. But it’s about power.”

“How do you mean?”

James kisses Q’s forehead. “If the people in charge can find a way to oppress a group of people, to force others to comply to their ruling, then they have power over many others. Society starts to follow them, follow the _moral code_ that means they can be seen as good, law abiding citizens. As you’ve told me; even those who this country owes for winning the war aren’t above the law - they have to bow down to it.”

“It’s abhorrent.”

James makes a noise of agreement. “I made my aunt very angry once,” he says.

“Oh?” Q asks.

“I asked her what was so wrong about two men or two women being in love with each other. She told me that the bible proclaimed it to be wrong. So I went back through it and made an argument against that. I pointed out David and Johnathon, who clearly loved each other, at least in my interpretation. And she wore both cotton and wool and ate shellfish.”

“I take it she wasn’t pleased.”

James shakes his head. “She called me a heathen and asked that I never speak of it outside of her house.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to be. It’s the way she’d been brought up and she already thought I was a wild child; having grown up the way I did. She was content with her lot and didn’t really want to have to expand her horizons. It only made me want to further mine.”

“I was told that people are afraid of what they don’t know and it makes them stupid and that it takes too much time for things to be put right. Sometimes I wonder what happened for them to both think like that, but they do.”

“Q?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

Q studies James’ face in the low light of the room. “What for?”

“For agreeing to come with me, for all of this.”

Q smiles. “Well, you’re very welcome, but I doubt I would have agreed at all if you hadn’t taken me to dinner first.”

James laughs and Q’s heart skips at the sound. He grins at him and tangles their legs together, happily getting as closely entwined with him as he can. 

“I wanted to kiss you that night, but I knew I couldn’t.”

“If it helps, I’m glad you didn’t. I wouldn’t have known what to think if you had,” Q admits.

“That’s why I didn’t. I couldn’t risk it.”

“You know, that night, I really didn’t think you were offering a massage. I was so surprised… and disappointed, which is why I…”

“I’m not complaining, I didn’t at the time.”

Q yawns. “Very true.”

“Go to sleep,” James whispers in between kisses against Q’s temple.

Q closes his eyes and falls under to the sound of James’ breathing and the breeze outside


	6. Dappled Light

“So,” Q says on their last morning in Paris, fresh from the shower. “We’re really doing this.”

“As long as you’re sure this is what you want, yes.”

“There really isn’t anything I want more,” Q tells him, his eyes bright and his cheeks flushing.

“Good,” James says, coming to stand in front of him. He wraps him in his arms and nuzzles Q’s neck. “Are we meeting everyone for breakfast?”

“Hmm, yes. But where are we going afterwards?”

“Well, given that I don’t particularly want us to have to keep our hands to ourselves for any extended length of time, I was thinking of visiting a few other places in France.”

“Secluded places?” Q asks, pressing kisses on James’ bare shoulder. He brings them closer together, his hands sliding down James’ back until he meets the elastic of his underwear.

James shudders and presses up against Q’s damp skin. “You’re proving my point,” he whispers.

Q hums against his throat, smiling when James groans in his ear and his hands grip his hips.

“We’re in Paris, my grandparents have gone for a walk, and Laura and Eevi will be meeting us for breakfast. We have the suit to ourselves.”

James is hard now, Q can feel him trying not to rut, forcing his hips to stay still.

Q kisses up and along James’ jaw, until he meets his mouth and slips his tongue inside. The arms on his hips move to hold Q tight against his chest as he surges into the kiss, walking Q backwards until he’s pressed against the wall.

“James,” Q breaths against his lips. “You can move.”

James’ laugh is breathless and joyful.

Q shakes his hips and his towel, which wasn’t held up with much anyway, falls off. Then he starts rolling his hips, biting down on his lips when he sees the way James’ gaze has fixed on the point where their erections rub against each other, separated by only a thin layer of cotton.

They move together until Q can feel the strain of James holding himself back from the edge.

“You don’t have to take them off,” he whispers, and James moans, shuddering in Q’s arms.

He reaches between them and slides his fingers into the fly. They’re of a hight so this should, in theory, work.

“Q?”

The fabric is stretchy enough and the gap wide enough that, though he has to separate himself from James for a moment, he lines up and slides his cock inside.

“That is… not something I’ve ever done before,” James pants, putting his arms back around Q and rocking forwards.

Q grins. “I’ve been thinking about since the first couple of times… I just wasn’t brave enough to try it.” 

James uses his hands to rock Q up against him again, Q using the wall and his arms around James’ shoulders to help and soon he’s close. His breath coming in short, harsh grasps and then he’s coming, pulsing along side James’ cock inside his underwear.

James hides his moan against Q’s shoulder as he follows him a few seconds later. He’s shaking and holding Q to him, breathing his name and title against his skin.

“I love you,” James pants. “That was incredible.”

Q laughs, the sound bright and happy even to his own ears.

“If there is ever anything you want me to try in future, just tell me.”

Q kisses him and reaches for the towel, carefully removing himself from James’ underwear, and the underwear from both of them.

“We should rinse off and head to breakfast,” Q says, feeling the blush creeping into his cheek and chest.

James picks him up and carries him into the bathroom, muffling the sound of their laugher with another kiss.

***

Laura hugs her brother tightly. “I will see you soon, okay?” she tells him.

Q smiles at her when she steps back. “Much sooner than you would be if I was going to back to London,” he reassures her.

He’s already said goodbye to everyone else and James is getting in the car.

“Be safe,” Laura says. She squeezes his hand again then steps back as Simon opens the car door and gets inside.

They all wave was they leave and Q swallows around the abrupt lump in his throat.

“Are you going to be okay?” James asks as they drive out of Paris and back to the rolling French country side.

“Yes, I expect I will be fine by the time we get to wherever it is we’re heading tonight.” He smiles a weak and watery smile at James.

“Here.” He gives Q his hand.

“So this is really happening.”

“It is,” James confirms.

“Good,” Q says, a small smile on his face.

 

***

_Epilogue_

**London, 1968**

It wasn’t unusual for them to head back and visit Q’s family for Christmas or for his birthday. But this year it _felt_ different.

They were both relaxed in a way neither had thought possible. And though the change in the law the year before to decriminalise homosexuality hadn’t made things equal… it had been a positive change. One that had pleased both James and Q.

They’d spent Christmas in France so this was their first time on British shores since the decriminalisation.

“It’s odd,” Q says, lying on a blanket in his grandparents back garden, his head on James’ stomach. “I’d never thought we were doing anything wrong… and it’s not as though we can go parading along the street holding hands and expect nothing to be said… but I feel… free-er, now.”

James ruffles his hair, then cards his fingers through it. Over the years he’s let it grow out just a little bit and he’s been lucky that age has not thinned it. Though, as James keeps reminding him, 35 isn’t really old at all. Not that James, now in his 40’s has anything to complain about either. Age has made him more handsome and a change in lifestyle has given him a light in his eyes that hardly ever fades.

“I think it’s the same for a lot of people.”

Q hums his agreement and goes back to his book.

“We could move back here, if you wanted to,” James offers quietly and Q thinks of the small cottage of a home they have for themselves in France, Eevi’s parents house in Sweden and the places their life together has allowed them to see and explore.

“We could,” Q agrees.

“But you don’t want to.”

“No, not unless you do. I’m happy with our life and I see no real reason to change it.”

James moves to sit up, so Q does the same and the sit facing each other but feet pointed in opposite directions, like the conversation seats they’ve seen in museums and ridiculous hotels.  
James takes Q’s hand.

“I can’t imagine my life without you in it, Simon. And I don’t want to. But I want you to know that if you ever change your mind, if this is ever where you want to be, then we can come back.”

Q leans forwards and rests their foreheads together.

“I love you too, James.” He kisses him. “I do still intend to marry you, one day. And if you’re still amenable.” Q smiles and bumps his nose with his.

“First country to legalise it; I’ll call in what ever favours I need to and we’ll get married.” 

Q laughs and leans against him, until James nudges him to the ground where they settle laughing and smiling and sharing kisses in the dappled light of garden.

***  
 _fin_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! And for those who've left kudos or comments. Hope you enjoyed the ending too!

**Author's Note:**

> I'll likely be updating this every week to 2 weeks. It's all pretty much typed up but it needs to be edited before I post it!


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